This just in! I know this is a shocker, but I have strong opinions and frequently strong language. If you are the type that offends easily, you're probably not reading this. Ha! But if you are easily offended, you should lighten up and read this anyway :)
Rant Level: 7/10, rated Mature for strong language.
Europe, you know I love you. But it's time we had a talk, man-to-loosely-assembled-coalition-of-political-states.
What the ever-loving-hell is up with your smoking? God dammit - you're supposed to be the smart ones here. It's not like this is some new knowledge we have, or that maybe it's not, oh, I don't know - UNIVERSALLY ACCEPTED FACT that it will kill you in ugly, demeaning, and painful ways.
But it's easy to ignore what will happen in 30-40 years (you'll die), when what you have right now is so FUN! Look at how cool/sexy/<insert whatever advertisers want to manipulate you with here> I am! Plus, I love to smell like shit! I love the way it makes everything I own/touch/come near smell like shit! You know what else I love? I love the way that it pollutes all of the outdoor areas. I mean really, what fine cuisine isn't made better by the wafting of other people's cancerous stench? Amiright?
So c'mon my people, get it together. You're better than that. It doesn't make sense that you'd be so awesome in tons of other ways, and yet this is a gap I fear we cannot bridge in our relationship. You'll thank me. Really.
Love,
me
p.s.--> Tough love hurts sometimes. We can still be friends!
p.p.s. --> I wouldn't be so upset about this if it were not for how common smoking is in the young people. Older generations didn't know better, now they've paid their dues and made their decisions. But we're supposed to know/do better!
hmmm....you are frickin' hilarious..Still. Note the nonexpletive, as you covered it methinks... jk. I've decided thru careful lifetime observation/listening techniques (and well knowing you at 5 and knowing you now covers alot of ground) that you are a great writer, but exponentially better when ticked off lol, which means I'll either try to inflict it more on you or just wait for natural occurrences. All kidding aside, please write a family travel guide, please! I'm sure others will agree wholeheartedly, which also logically means more travel (fam cheering in the background!!). Seriously, do this. Love, Mother fr. Another....Bunny
ReplyDeleteHa! Thanks :) Yeah, I have been known to get a good rant on, although Amy tells me that this one should have been rated a 6/10 for offensiveness (I have some *really* good ones few have heard)
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